I started my first blog when I was thirteen. I wrote a blog post once a day for a week and then completely forgot about it for the next six years, rediscovering it a couple of nights ago.
When I was thirteen years old, it was 2012 and I was about to st
art high school. My posts were mostly rants about problems that seem so insignificant to me now. I wanted an online diary, like Lindsay Lohan in Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, except mine were much less cool and nobody actually read my blog. Looking back on it now, I wouldn’t dare show what I had written to anybody. I am letting it stay lost in the dark abyss of the internet, and crossing my fingers nobody finds it. I would delete it, but it would feel like betrayal to my younger self.
I am eighteen now and trying out this blogging thing again (hopefully it will last more than a week this time). Maybe I’ll cringe reading this in five years, but thats fine, most people feel embarrassed about their past selves. I listened to a How To Be Amazing podcast featuring Tavi Gevinson a while ago, and they mentioned something about why we feel so embarrassed about our younger selves. Basically we dislike people who are different than us. We feel comfortable with what is familiar to us, and the more we grow, the more we change, so the our younger selves become increasingly different from our current selves and we start to dislike our past selves. So maybe I’ll feel embarrassed about myself later on, but thats growth, or at least its change.